I once heard about a man who discovered when he was a little boy, that if he initiated his beatings at 9 pm, he would still be able to get enough sleep to be OK during school the next day. He has since become a great negotiator with unalienable principles that he puts to use for the betterment of community.
What ever happens in life, remember that the mind is so very pliable and we have no authentic excuses to be held back by circumstance. Destructive learned behaviors can be re-wired. When you have the urge to focus on chaos or to run away from something good or to avoid something that moves you forward in a positive direction, you can make yourself instead, go forward on your path to a better way of being and in time, the urge to run will be transformed into simply being at ease and allowing richer experiences to shape your present and to shape your future. The pauper and the king can both know the same amount of joy. There is much good in this world if you allow yourself to accept it.