Sometimes, if you do not know what you are supposed to be doing while things seem to be falling apart, do nothing. In a couple days (usually three) the path reveals itself and the worry that you had felt would have been soothed with hot coco, a warm blanket and a good friend on the phone.
Some days, especially lately, I could really use a real hug. Then, when I ask for a hug, people back away with their carts and baskets. Small town grocery stores just don’t feel the love.
Was talking to my dog Chloe and I heard her say that “nothing happens unless you begin”. That’s going on my refridgerator for when I forget.
I received a text from a friend who enjoyed a modern dance performance over the weekend called “Birds with Sky Mirrors”. Performance was impeccable! Was told that there were a few moments that did not entirely fit regarding the music and that it would have been perfect had I scored it.
If I were an animal, I would be a dog. Probably a Border Collie. Most dogs do fine with an occasional pat on the head and something to eat. Border Collies also require some room to run and things to think about. Without those, we end up hopping fences and steering cows that belong to grumpy old farmers.
Spectral shadows lurked between sky and those hills in the river last night. I heard the words, “Take my grace instead” pass these lips. Fear can not remain at the heart of love.
When I was 14, I hiked and climbed 2,600 feet upward alone and without trail to stand on a glacier. I made myself crawl out to the crumbling edge to be nearer the waterfall carving out the valley below as it had been for thousands of years. I lay there, awestruck, dismissing fear and being at one with absolute unrelenting beauty. Someday, I hope to see someone like that.
My dog and I were strolling through the orchard and she told me that projection and illusion are veils that have made it difficult for many people to find the right person to share life with. Sometimes, we find a friend who we can walk with for a week or a few months. Some friends develop deeper connections and the friendships last forever. Some people magically become much more than friends and that is beautiful in the same way and also other ways. I believe that we each have a path where we find bliss and in that, we shine much brighter and are able to achieve a greater good while also being enriched. The individual path is sometimes unknown because it has not been cleared by others yet it is always there. The path is revealed through many senses, not always at the same time yet it always feels right.
Everyone in the world is so different from each other. On a basic level, I believe that people are not so different from each other in that we have hopes and dreams. I think that the divisions are in how we approach our hopes and dreams.
After the whiskey was gone there were no more words. That didn’t matter; I had run out of things to write on.
I sat out on our porch remembering how she had put so much love into the garden, determined with her small hands and that white hat protecting her face from the sun.
Occasionally, I noticed the icy wind biting through my coat but the fragrance of her pale skin and the way her nose would wrinkle when she laughed lingered in my mind and I could not leave.
That night I imagined I heard the sound of a lone goose loosing his mind out on the water and I never woke.
Was strolling under the cedar trees sipping coffee with too much hot coco and thick cream; thinking about all of the good things that I foresee being a reality for the future. Then, over by the summer art space, for some reason, Rodney Dangerfield showed up out of no-where in a mostly red Hawaiian shirt and green/brown plaid small print golf slacks that actually made his butt look smaller with an Amish straw hat and he had let his sideburns grow out. Not exactly like those circa 1973 lamb chops, they were more like he had made a choice between those and his chin while there was still some edge on the shaver that he found behind the Tums in the bathroom cabinet. He told me to follow my rawest wildest unhinged dreams. He said to throw myself into it, don’t think about being polished and to do it up with absolute abandon. He said that the other stuff is alright but those crazy parts are where a person shines.